I'm sick of Dumb *ss People (BROAD TOPIC)

ok, so i'm feeling stressed as hell!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!! i think i'm allergic to dumb *ss people. i'm sick of people who are insecure and dissatisfied with their place in life, therefore targeting you for being/having what they aren't/don't. i'm sick of people hiding from their true selves. yes people out there in blogland, the truth hurts. but there cannot be progress without struggle (thank you frederick), yet WE act like we are beneath the dirty work. to take the low road requires slim to NO energy or effort in life. but to take the high road, to remain strong, to keep focus and exemplify elegance & grace requires CONSTANT effort...almost to exhaustion. because no matter what you do or where you go, there will always be SOMEONE who is praying for your downfall. i have been on a ridiculously introspective journey for the last couple of years and honestly blog fam, it wasn't easy-STILL isn't. and to know that there are those who cut there eyes, roll their necks, and say 500 hail mary's at night for me to cease to be my fabulous f*cking self actually strengthens me-cuz i know i'm doing something right-LOL. but i too have feelings. i too have struggles. i too am human. i am tired of classless backstabbing women. i am tired of people with NO ambition but with MUCHO hate cuz you're doing your thang! i'm tired of people who always try to be right...even when they KNOW they're wrong. i'm tired of sensitive *ss bloggers who get their panties in a bunch over public OPINIONS left in the comments...people, it's OPINIONS, not an attempt on your life! i'm tired of insecurities, pride, foolishness, deceit, resentment, boastfulness, misguided anger, being judged & misjudged, hatefulness, jealousy and just DUMB *SS PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! GROW UP KIDDIES!!!

WHAT ARE YA'LL TIRED OF?!?! WHODUNIT, WHY OR WHERE?!?! let's share bloggies, fa' i has to cut a B*TCH !!!!!!!! i can't be alone in this frustration (i'm only flesh & blood)

Top Mogwai-Week 4: When I Grow Up.......

WHOOPEE! TOP MOGWAI TIME!!!!

ok, so last night’s episode was really funny! janice dickinson (world's "first" supermodel) appeared and gave the models a lesson on how to pose. she brought along lisa from cycle 5 and they ran thru examples of how to pose commercially and non-commercially.

you would think that the girls would pay close attention and soak up all of these pointers cuz they looked really into it, right?




well, not everyone was so focused. gina b.k.a. ms. woodchuck asked an array of dumb questions which prompted janice to tell her to go and stand on one leg, jump up and down and laugh hysterically in front of everyone. being that miss jade b.k.a. stank-i-tude b.k.a.miss piggy has made gina her new little whipping post, she reveled at the sight of that humiliation. and brooke b.k.a. herpe-lip was very aloof the whole episode...like DUH!

"You said to find the light with your face...but i still don't get it." Brooke to Janice Dickinson

later on, janice took the girls to dinner. jade was feeling herself (as always) and just monopolizing janice at first, trying to force some type of commonality.

"Me & her just kinda clicked because we're on the same level."-Jade about Janice Dickinson [SIDEBAR::: Miss Jade, i must have missed the 100+ magazine covers you've been on, the countless fame, fortune and undeniable talent you have within the modeling industry. i mean, you've been on ANTM, have NOT even won and are comparing yourself to the world's "first" supermodel?? BEYATCH PUH-LEASE!!!!!!!!]

nonetheless, janice decided to stir the drama pot by asking gina who she has a problem with in the house. i guess she could sense how weak and confused she was. gina (of course) blurts out "JADE!" jade has this "who me?" look on her face and asks gina at least 5 times "what did i do now?" well, janice swiftly dismisses gina and tells her that you never OUT the b*tches in the house. well, of course gina had a breakdown, crying and feeling humiliated yet again in front of jade so miss nnenna consoles and encourages her once they make it back to the house.

"Why are you scared of Jade?...what is she gonna do, spank you?" Nnenna to Gina {thats why i love this girl} jade ends up invading gina's bedroom where she and gina go at it about how they feel sorry for one another and gina actually stood up to the big bad jade leaving her mouth agape and looking stupid.

but on a different homefront, we found out that miss nnenna has a VERY insecure boyfriend who whines and cries to her on the phone about her being gone. "honey, did you see boys today, whimper whimper?" i'm like old school onyx, BACDAF*KUP!!!!!!! your girl has a job to do that could possibly change the both of your lives and you're whining like a little wet puppy...I HATE INSECURE MEN!!!!!!!!!! nonetheless, nnenna brushed him and his crying off like a real lady and kept the focus of why she was there.

next, the ladies had to try and work 4 different looks at a set with the 4 seasons as backgrounds...they were to use their "commercial" look and miss nnenna won that competition (YAY!) and all of the clothes from the shoot. then they met up with tyra on the set of her talk show and she asked them to think back to before ANTM and about what they wanted to pursue as careers after modeling...HENCE THE BIRTH OF SHOOT # 5

WHEN I GROW UP....
let's peep the pics

brooke (anesthesiologist)-this is the first pic of miss brooke that i like...she's not showcasing her herpe on the top lip and she's got that jay leno chin down instead of up in the "light"-BIG improvement

danielle (singer)-GREAT pic!!!!!!! she looks so fierce and her positioning on those speakers couldn't be better-WORK IT!

FUronda b.k.a. aunt chaunceen (civil right attorney) this is the best pic of her i've seen! she doesn't look like a lost toothpick as much...i love her for stepping it up!!! go fu-fu, its ur birfday, just do the do like ur birfday!!!!!!!!

gina b.k.a. ms. woodchuck (fashion designer)-head to toe MESS!!! her arms are awkward and she just looks scared as hell. later, she blamed the issues with jade as a distaction-BOO!

jade b.k.a. stank-i-tude (kindegarten teacher)-i don't like this pic...i think its the long blond hair...but i like the outfit. danielle said she would home-school her kid before sending it to jade's class-HA!

joanie (housewife)-she also stepped it up. she doesn't look bored as usual and actaully did something with that face...i think this is her best pic!

leslie (attorney)-LOVE THIS PIC! she looks so hot!! the only thing that bothers me about her is that she looks TORE the HELL up when she's not at a shoot. and the eye bags have got to GO!! get a cucumber, girl!

mollie sue (make-up artist)-i like the edginess she brought to it...she's such a rocker chick. it's good, not great

nnenna (chemist)-ooooooooooooooooh chile!!! miss nnenna put it DOWN in this pic...but more importantly she got very familiar with the male model up in those fake african bushes. honey, they got the rubbing and ish and in the last shot, they KISSED! not a big one, but the eroticism oozed from the screen...boyfriend better stop working her nerves cuz she seemed all too eager to stop the child's play with him and go for the gusto with model-boy...i ain't mad, mama! "All the touching & groping & sensualness...WHAT!?!?!" Jade about nnenna's shoot [beyatch, it's SENSUALITY, not sensualness-geez!]

sara (lawyer)-not liking this...i think it's the wax lips she's wearing. BORED! tyra & mr. jay said she looked very stank in her proofs..like 1 pic-risque, 2nd pic-legs open, 3rd pic-on your knees-HA!! i was dying...........

GINA got eliminated (with her confused azz) and i vote for brooke next. well, technically i always want to see jade go cuz she's such a skank...but they'll keep her around for the drama...so brooke it is!

WHO DO YA'LL LIKE? WHO DO YOU WANT TO SEE GO HOME NEXT?

Guess who took a trip...God don't like UGLY!!!!!!!

HERE'S TO YOU!!! CHEERS, BEYATCH!!!!!!!!!!


well, i must say, for a brief moment, i was beginning to think that my extremely entertaining and idiotastic neighbors had received the memo that being a dumb-*ss was soooooooo out for 2006. BUT ALAS, i was blessed with a fresh, innovative, albeit hilarious rendition of "God don't like ugly." it would be foolish of me NOT to acknowledge the fact that my neighbors probably hate my guts and pray for the day that i move...and i, too, despise the very entrails that keep them energized enough to torment me and my nervous cat-baby. between cable-stealing, chain smoking pablo and margarita and the tennis shoveling, zebra-roasting adam, tashi, and olivia, i have really grown tired of their classless ways. but today's blog star would be that too-tight-jeans-from-rainbow-or-rave-clothing-store wearing MARGARITA!!

now, i have lodged many complaints against her and her husband (or commonlaw partner, whichever is appropriate)...but the majority of them are centered around noise. this woman is the loudest, skankiest, trashiest, most-in-need-of-an-etiquette-class chick i've ever seen. i will never know what makes her think EVERYONE wants to hear her conversations or that damn song "Gasolina" 76 times in a row every friday. and why she insists on screaming at pablo from the 3rd floor to the parking lot is just beyond me. i almost want to throw her one of those boost mobile phones (with instructions) just to cut down on all of the window talk. nonetheless, last week, she knocked at the main door for approx. 10 minutes at 3:45 AM because she must have forgotten her key. she then began to talk to herself about how pablo needs to get up and let her in, he makes her sick, %^$#*&%@%(, etc. she did this because i am on the first floor and she knows that i could hear her ranting thru my window very well. perhaps she expected me to get out of my warm bed to let her in-HA!! I SCOFF AT THEE!!! nonetheless, she took to screaming outside up to the 3rd floor...but pablo was sound asleep. finally she left (to go to a pay phone i assume) and came back to a hasty pablo scurrying down the stairs. well, you know i had to complain about that instance because i'm like-look, i do not work at the local bodega, or at the closest off-ramp...i have a job at which i work long hours each day-so these antics in the middle of the night are unacceptable. these people have no respect or courtesy for the other tenants, etc. this was probably complaint # 34 from me against them.

needless to say, they have an attitude now and i have noticed that margarita has taken to new lows trying to annoy me. she and pablo have to walk up 3 flights of stairs to get to their place. and she has decided to start RUNNING up the stairs-therefore making a lot of noise. see, margarita is a thick-ums (which is her prerogative...but she need NOT be running). so the sound of her running up & down these stairs is comparable to the sound of a buffalo AND a wilderbeast racing to the slop-barrel...like a steam engine roaring thru grand central station...like 1,000 bricks falling from the top of the empire state building. she does this because it is a way for her to bother me, but in a slick and somewhat cunning way. if i did complain, she could play the "thats just how i walk, is she cracking on my weight?" card. but we both know what she's doing...and it all started after that fateful morning at 3:45AM.

well, yesterday, she ran up and down, down and up all day long. i was going bonkers and she was working my last nerve....when all of the sudden......BOOM BOOM BOOM, CRASH, BLAM!!! "OH-HAY-SOOS CHRISTO!!!!!!!!!!!! AY CARAMBA!!!!!!!!!!! YOUCH!!!!!!!!" BOOM, BAM, CA-RASH!!!!! Margarita took a nasty spill down the last flight of stairs right by my apartment.

oh lord have mussy!!!!!!!!! i must have wet myself at the thought....so i peeked out to witness all of the commotion and there lay margarita, left leg extended, right leg bent under her big *ss, head on the banister and too-tight-jeans split in the middle exposing her crusty mesh draws. her ponytail was all disshelved and looked like a bird had gotten loose in it...face red from embarrassment as she tried to laugh it off.

the nice person in me said-are you ok? and the demon in her persed her lips and said thru tight lips "i fine, mami" as she rolled her eyes. i walked away saying "God don't like ugly, stop running." then i went inside and stood right on the other side of the door and laughed so hard that the people across the street heard me.

ain't it funny that when you go out of your way to hurt, annoy, or wrong someone else, you usually get bit in the *ss!!!!!!!!!!! lesson learned, margarita. sweet justice
ONE POINT, MISS A.
NEGATIVE 35 MARGIE & PAB!!!!!!

Top Mogwai-Week 3: I'm Too Sexy For My Shoes

HOLY SCHNIKEES!!!!!!! SIMON & GARFUNKEL, FRICKIN, FRACKIN, FRIGGETY FRICK-FRACK!!!!!!!!! BLOGGER WAS A B*TCH ON WHEELS THIS MORNING!!!!!! (trying not to cuss so excuse my stand-in foul language...but b*tch doesn't count)

IG'NANCE OF THE DAY:: "I felt just like snow white...excuse me, SNOW BLACK" Danielle after photo shoot #3 (girl, er'rbody knows you BLACK, damn, that sounded dumb)

anyhoos, onto ANTM-Week 3....Bwaaaaaaah ha ha, hee hee, LOL ROFLMBAO!!!!!!!!!! Lawd have mussy!!!!! last night's episode was HILARIOUS! it started with the models having to learn to walk the runway from none other than Miss Jay-Runway Diva Extraordinaire...and it was ridiculous. but they finally got to shake their little tushes on the catwalk!!! they ended up being tested by a designer who constructs very frilly, froofy gothic-type clothes in which they wore goth-like makeup and LIVE hissing cockroaches as accessories.



well, you know there had to be at least one freak-out and gina b.k.a. ms. woodchuck lost her damn mind, screaming and refusing to go out on the runway...ultimately having to be pushed by the designer. *four supermodel slaps for being a punk* she looked a HOT, fugly mess!


now, ya know miss jade b.k.a miss piggy b.k.a. stank-i-tude had to somehow try to propel herself into the spotlight, being the pub slut that she is, so she decided not only to flaunt her cockroach but KISS it....dayum!! there is no end to her shenanigans...but as she said, she's 26 years old and has yet to acheive her dream, so mama is working overtime to claw to the top. (tip to jade: i feel your desparation, but keep your voodoo practices and witch recipes, potions and spells behind closed doors...no one wants to see you tongue-kiss nasty dirty bugs) next she'll be masturbating with eyes of newt and licking furry tarantula legs for good luck-EWW!!! *2 supermodel slaps for being tacky and desparate* behold the barf-fest...
(jade to the roach: in my mouth, you hissy b*tch)
(the other roaches backstage: put..the..roach...down...step..away
from...the...helpless...bug...COOKARACHA, be strong!)

onto the photo shoot..the models got to be fairy tale figures who were falling from a platform. i loved this concept. it was different and very cool looking. peep the pics below...
brooke (the emperor from the emperor's new clothes)-geez louise, this girl's chin area is KILLING me! i cackled and gagged at this pic. and peep the white feet-BOO!
danielle (snow white)-missy ROCKED this pic-WORK IT!!!!!!!!! her legs look fabulous and she doesn't even look like she's falling, she looks like she froze herself in space-BANGING PHOTO!!!!!!
FUronda b.k.a. aunt chaunceen (rapunzel)-honey, i like nothing about this...as miss jay said, she looks like a bug smashed on the windshield...BORING!!
gina b.k.a. ms. woodchuck (sleeping beauty)-this pic is a mess!! she looks lively as hell...tyra told her she should have halfway closed her eyes, hence SLEEPING beauty, but she just has no clue-NEXT!!!!!!!!
jade b.k.a. stank-i-tude b.k.a. miss piggy (little red riding hood)-well, the pic is cool, but a judge said she looks like the big bad wolf in LRRH's clothes-and she does-cuz she just looks so evil and mean...but at least we can't see all the way up her nose on this one.
joanie (i forgot who she was)-DAMN!!! thats how much she bores me, i forgot who the hell she was supposed to be...maybe some kind of princess, the smurf queen. i don't know-NEXT!!!!!!!!!
kari b.k.a. soup-koolas b.k.a. slug lips (goldilocks)-she looks a little high in the facial zone. her lips just wreck the whole damn shot and it looks like she's pulling her right hand out from her brain...ewww!
leslie (big bad wolf)-she looks cute..i like it, don't love it, but it's cool. tyra said she looks a little pin-up-ish still
mollie sue (little boy blue)-i love her outfit and the way she is falling...its decent..tyra commented on the tension in her nose
nnenna b.k.a. the winner (the princess from the princess & the frog)-not my fav pic but the dress looks wonderful..i think she should have parted her lips a little..come on nnenna..i'm rooting for ya!!!!!!!!
sara (gretel from hansel & gretel)-this pic does not look right..is it the face?? is it the arms? maybe its the mouth..i don't know, but it's not flowing for me.

KARI b.k.a. slug lips got eliminated because her picture sucked and she is the worst runway walker to ever be on the show. she fell 3 zillion times...but the best was at the end...when the models had to put on 8 inch heels (just like the ones below) and walk for the judges

.....help me, lawd, cuz i was on the floor laughing at this atrocity. kari feel at least 13 times, sara fell zero times, and FUronda just looked like a spazzing crackhead that just got busted smoking the pipe *3 supermodel slaps for the tyrone biggums impersonation..CRACK IS WACK!*...what hilarity!!! and on a sad note, danielle fell about 3-5 times and at the end she sprained her baby toe (moment of silence for her baby toe-------------------). but she kept a pleasant expression on her face which impressed the judges. good attitudes will always take you far.

WHO ARE YA'LL LOVIN THIS WEEK?? WHO DO YOU WANT TO SEE SENT HOME NEXT??? (i vote for gina...two times)

Yes, I'll have some fresh mexican tacos, HOLD THE FRESH MEXICANS!!!!

YIKES & EGADS!!!! i decided to go to Baja Fresh for lunch and was very excited to taste the "fresh" mexican favorites that i've been neglecting for so long. baja fresh prides themselves on providing us foolish americans with real, fresh mexican foods, no microwaves, no can openers, no freezers, no preservatives, etc. i really like it and i was pumped to order my chipotle glazed charbroiled chicken salad. well, lord have mercy, i didn't know i was gonna either have to teach English 101 or speak Advanced Spanish 404 to get my order placed. and i made the fatal mistake of calling ahead, only to be greeted by a young lady i'll call guadalupe...peep into our conversation

Guadalupe: Goos assernoon...sank you for calling baja fresh. how can i hells su todays?

Miss A: Yes, i would like to order for pickup.

Guadalupe: U want ship cup? u want pico wissat?

Miss A: No, not chip cup, order for PICK-UP!!!

Guadalupe: ok, what u like todays?

Miss A: i would like the chipotle glazed charbroiled chicken salad

Guadalupe: ok, cheecken salad, $8.59...anysing else??

Miss A: i wasn't finished..i want no cilantro

Guadalupe: ok, cheecken salad, no cilantro $8.59, anysing else

Miss A: yes, i wasn't finished AGAIN. i want no cilantro, no avocado..

Guadalupe: ok, cheecken salad, no cilantro, mooore avocado, $8.59..anysing else

Miss A: listen to me, ok? i'm not finished. i want NO cilantro, NO avocado, and cheese on the side

Guadalupe: ok, cheecken salad, NO cilantro, NO avocado, and chez...what kind chez u want?

Miss A: i would like (think fast on what she'll understand)

Guadalupe: yes, u want yellow chez, white chez, oh yellow-white chez

Miss A: i'll have yellow cheese

Guadalupe: no chez?

Miss A: YELLOW CHEESE!!!!!!!!

Guadalupe: ok, cheecken salad, no cilantro, no avocado, yellow chez on side, $9.09...anysing else, ships oh dreen

Miss A: no, i do not want a drink..but i thought chips came with it

Guadalupe: ok, u want ships? $10.49..anysing else.

Miss A: no, i was asking if chips came with it because they used to. if they don't come with it, then i don't want them.

Guadalupe: ok, NO ships..$9.09...anysing

Miss A: you didn't answer the question...oh nevermind. i'm here now

i went in there to get my order that had yet to be prepared because we were on the phone so long...so i waited. my food was delicious, but next time i want some fresh mexican food, i'll skip the fresh mexican...maybe i'll fax my order...perhaps they can READ english a little better..ARRIBA, ARRIBA!!!!!!!

Top Mogwai-Week 2: Ice, Ice Baby

IG'NANCE OF THE DAY::: "I have everything it takes to win this...You sitting out here with a crown on your head...them ain't even diamonds." Jade to FUronda

ok, top mogwai had it's second photo shoot which took place in a freezer with an ice set. it was a really nice background complete with ice bench and weird ice sculptures looming about. of course, the mogs had to be half naked and they had some fierce makeup that made them look frozen....Miss Wendy b.k.a Woo-Woo-Woo b.k.a Whoas Me got eliminated (thank the heavens) because she was just so unfocused and, in my opinion, should have never been there since she was having so much personal drama and familial issues. understandably so, but i just couldn't feel sorry for her cuz every other word out of her mouth was, hurricane katrina or i'm worried or woo-woo-woo...she totally blew her chances to turn the catastrophe of katrina around and make a better life for herself and for that, i give her two supermodel slaps...youuuuuuuuuuuuu're outta there!!!!! and in other negro hilarity, FUronda b.k.a. aunt chaunceen was beside herself cuz she got a brand new shiny weave...missy stayed in the mirror, handed out rules of engagement to the other girls (which i liked, but think she could have said them instead of typing them), and was whipping and snapping that neck around like naomi campbell jr. the funniest thing about her is that she has the WORST skin ever, worst than yaya on cycle 3. missy is rocking zits, bits, crackles and pops, craters, mountains, molehills, puss pockets and some more ish-BLEH!!! send her to the dermatologist-STAT! then miss jade b.k.a. miss piggy b.k.a. stank-i-tude got shook cuz she didn't get a long weave like aunt chaunceen. instead she got a short cropped blond fro and it damn near made her lose her mind. she was snapping on everybody, being her regular b*tchy self, but, in my opinion, she looked kinda bad. her skin was looking a little haggard as well. damn, i could never cross paths with her cuz it would be a fight to the death...she is so arrogant and smart-mouthed, telling everyone what to do and why she has the total package-therefore making her the top choice for ANTM. i just want to give her three supermodel slaps...and just because the show is not named America's Next Top Best Friend, that doesn't mean she has to be America's Next Top BITCH...but let's get to the pics


brooke-i will never understand what tyra or anybody sees in this atrocity. she looka like a maaaaaaaaaan!!












danielle-i am not feeling this one..she also borderlines on looking tranny, something in the ear, eye, eyebrow area just isn't flowing for me..but she's definitley not the worst













FUronda b.k.a aunt chaunceen-HONEY!!that weave brought her up about 17 notches...not my fav but much improved from before














gina b.k.a. ms. woodchuck-i like nothing about her...i think i prefer her more when her big teeth are poking thru her half cocked smile...and i can't resist the urge to call her suki...she can go next













jade b.k.a. miss piggy b.k.a. stank-i-tude...nothing special about this. i think they should have taken some of the concentration off of the pig nose and picked a full body shot cuz she did look fab in that bathing suit













joanie-i'm bored...next














kari-someone please take those dead slugs she calls lips OFF!! she looks horrid and cheap, like she should be a stripper names bubbles or lexy...not feeling her at all













leslie-i like her but this pic isn't very high-fashion...that looks like me posing before i go to the beach-step it up!!!! but i still like her












mollie sue, follie sue, rollie, collie, dollie sue-i just like saying that. i'm not in love with her, but i think she's gonna go far in this competition














nnenna b.k.a. the winner...love her to pieces...i do like last week's pic better, but she still looks good (sidebar:: i love how graceful she was when they told her she was going bald. she didn't whine, b*tch, moan or complain and you know anybody else would have been on the damn floor...that's why she needs to win...she has the look and a winning attitude!) damn, i'm officially a groupie :-P













sara-i like this pic of her waaaaaaaaaaay better than the bald one from last week...her haircut really stepped her look up..i likes












wendy b.k.a. woo-woo-woo...i'm just uninspired by this look, maybe its the toucan schnozz she has, maybe its the melancholy vibe she puts out..nonetheless, she's DUNZO!



WHO ARE YA'LL LOVIN' THIS WEEK??

Massa's A B*tch and Conchita's Goin' Down!!!!!

*WARNING! some of the following language may be found offensive*

lawd, help me....as my profile reads (and for those who do not know), i am a servant in the slavery industry. this is my profession. i am a slave to a senile, dim-witted misogynist and i only remain in this enviroment because the trade-off is worth it for me. altho i frequently have bouts and shouting matches with my massa, i have managed to stay here for 2 years...but on friday, massa jenkins lost his little damn piece of mind.

usually i work a regular 40 hour week. sometimes, i have late days and my hours worked exceeds 40. to provide some background, massa jenkins told me in december that i could work monday thru thursday and have fridays off...which sounded like heaven for me...YAY!! a 3-day weekend!! i just had to make sure i worked my hours, so of course, i was like-COOL! and basically work four 10-hour days. that has been the case for 3 months now. well, lately, we've been butting heads because as i said, he's extremely senile, stubborn, old-school and (i believe) slightly sexist. he's one of those people where if i suggest to eat tacos today, he'll say-"eww..i don't want no damn tacos." then 10 minutes later, he'll say "by george, i've got it, we should have tacos today!" if he didn't think of it, then it's useless-which i have a huge problem with because he's stuck in 1972 and refuses to join me in the millennium. in that regard, he does not know how to fax, operate a computer, or even set up a conference call. bad because he's like my old, wrinkled gray-haired baby...good because that makes me indespensable for the smallest of things but even moreso, for the big things that i am responsible for. anyhoos, we've been beefing a lot because i've been trying to implement some methods that i feel would be most efficient and he insists on interrupting or denouncing them all because he didn't think of them. also, since he is having time-warp brain freeze, he doesn't understand my logic, gets confused and usually suggests doing things the long and drawn out way-hence enhancing the look of productivity. that is a no-no for me, because i'm all about doing things right the first time and maximizing time spent, but he's used to talking, talking, talking, shucking, jiving, and tiring people out so by the time things need to be done, they are so worn out, they're so happy for it to be over. because i had grown tired of his menial ways, i decided to stop speaking to him last week. (also because he won't give me a computer i want that is sitting right here collecting dust, but because i asked, of course, the answer's "no") he went crazy. it was driving him nuts for me to ignore him or write notes if i had to communicate something, but i was cutting down on my stress levels since talking to him is like talking to my cat, miss starr jonez. as the week progressed, i really started to enjoy the quiet, just doing my work and not finding myself in the middle of 3rd grade banter. well, thursday as i prepared to leave, he raised some dumb azz point to me and i refuted it from at least 7 different angles, which really pissed him off. but-oh well! so at 8:30 friday morning (my day off), i received a phone call from him and since i've told him not to call me unless there was an emergency, i ignored it. then i listened to the voice mail.

Massa Jenkins: yeah slave, this friday thing isn't working...i think you should go back to the old schedule. call me back so we can talk about it.

Miss A.: OH HELL NAW!!!!!!!!!!! (dials number back)

Massa Jenkins: Good morning

Miss A.: this ain't no good got-damn morning. i got your stupid azz message. what are you talking about?

Massa Jenkins: yeah, i don't think this is working. i just think you should go back to your old schedule. last night bothered me and i was upset cuz we just aren't seeing eye to eye. i don't like the idea of work just sitting here over the weekend and friday...that's too long.

Miss A.: you know what? you are so full of sh*t!!!! first of all, if i DID go back to my old schedule, no extra work would get down cuz 40 hours is 40 hours and i would stretch my four days of work over 5 days, so if you just want to physically see me toiling away looking like i'm doing something-just know that i would remain at my present work pace. which brings me to my next point of why the hell i would NEVER return to that schedule because it doesn't matter what days i work, as long as i'm working the time i'm supposed to. if i work 7 days a week, or if i work 2 days, 40 equals 40, so the same amount of work would be accomplished. which brings me to my next point of this is so not about work getting done...this is about the fact that you hate that i am so outspoken. you hate that when you say "jump" i don't ask "how high." you hate that i am not on your tip and that i'm young and fresh and innovative. you hate that i have great relationships with our clients and that i can keep up with the big boys and you need me just to access their frickin' emails!!!!

Massa Jenkins: i dont want to talk about this anymore!!! why you gotta be so nasty all the time?!?!

Miss A.: cuz i am tired of you insulting my intelligence, treating me like my name is stanley or something. my name is Miss A. and when you bought me at the auction block...you knew i was a ball of FIRE...that's why you wanted me in your fields. so you can't front on my cotton pickin' skills just cuz i don't follow behind your backwards azz all day. and if you didn't want to talk about it now, why the hell did you call and wake me up on my day off-idiot?!?!?!

Massa Jenkins: see, thats what i'm talking about!! i wanted to talk to you cuz it was bothering me...but you get all loud and talk like that and i don't want to talk anymore.

Miss A.: of course, you fan the flames but don't want to extinguish the fire. you make me sick. i am not a silly beyatch!!! i've hung in there when your psycho ho was stalking me, i listen to your back-woods logic every day, i take the good with all the bad and u come at me like i'm a field hand-well, i'm a house n*gga and i REFUSE!!! i WILL NOT go back to my old schedule-PEACE!!!

needless to say, we are not speaking again this morning...but i do NOT GIVE A F*CK CUZ I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!!! (sidebar::honestly, sometimes i'm surprised i still even have a job cuz i talk to him like that...but honestly, he needs me. so he knows he has to put up with my mouth just like i have to put up with his idiocy...but damn, it irks me that i even have to go there with him-OH WELL!)

moving on, i am currently being sued by some burrito breath, fried banana head, no-speaky-good-ingles mexican broad with whom i had had a small vehicular collison in 2003. yes, 2003!!! i am livid!!!! let's call her conchita, for anonymity's sake. well, miss conchita, technically hit me when i was pushed into an intersection. because she was acting fool after said collision, i immediately went to her aid, which enabled the person whose car pushed me to flee the scene. because there were no witnesses, it is my word against hers and all of the sudden, conchita can barely walk...even tho i saw her in court in 2003 and she was fine. and my mum called her sombrero-wearing son a few days after this accident to see how she was and he said she was fine. now in 2006, conchita is blind, crippled and knocking on death's door because of ME!?!?! well, i think not!!! i answered my interrogatories friday and am getting ready for my deposition cuz this ho has me sooooo twisted!!!!! not to mention, she's 117 years old (technically she's 65) so the chances of her having prior issues with ailing health, scoliosis, osteoporosis, arthritis, jaundice, leprosy and who knows what else is extremely high cuz she's old as dirt......let's get ready to rumble!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Miss A. ain't goin' out like that!!!!!!

P.S. who can beleieve HOOPZ won Flavor of Love?!?!? i am shocked!!! damn, i was sooooooooo looking forward to strange love 2: life in the big apple with new york's crazy azz!!!!!!!! guess we'll have to wait and see what hoopz boring, masculine azz will do-gosh, there's just nothing to believe in anymore.

Top Mogwai-Week 1: The Bald & The Beautiful

WORD OF THE DAY: atrocious (adj) - Extremely evil or cruel; monstrous: Exceptionally bad

IG'NANCE OF THE DAY: "When i walk down the street, people's heads turn like 'wow'. And people think I'm a b*tch but I'm really down to earth, even though i have this gorgeous face and beautiful body....I should have already been discovered." Jade

Sashay-Shante-Sashay-Sashay-Sashay!!!!!

Alright, so cycle 6 of america’s next top model began last night and I will get straight into it. 32 girls made it to the finals. That number was widdled down to 20, then lastly, down to the final 13. now, before the show began, I had posted my opinions of a few of the girls-Jade being my favorite. Well, I take back what I said. Homegirl has a serious case of ball jock. Well, she doesn’t have balls, but she is feeling herself waaaaaaaaay too much. From the moment she opened her mouth and throughout the whole episode, she spoke of how fine she is, how she moved to New York and should have already been a star, how ready she is to be famous. And just cuz she was in Jay-Z's "Change Clothes" video, she thinks she is a sure-win. But I already see she is a big sh*t-talker. When one of the girls offered Nnenna $40 to catwalk naked, Jade jumped in and said she would do it, only to back out and say she’s worth “a million.” GAG! Nonetheless, little Miss FUronda was also on her own tip throughout the episode, along with Danielle. (why do 3 out of the 4 “Ethnicks” have to be so arrogant? Yes, i have named Jade, Danielle, FUronda and Nnenna) I believe in havin confidence in your swagger, but you don’t have to be an atrocious witch to get attention. And on ANTM, you really shouldn’t run your mouth too much, cuz you never know who will get the boot, as Miss FUronda found out when she fell into the bottom 2, even though she thought she WORKED IT at the photo shoot. Nonetheless, there was one-and only one-young lady who stood out to me, and that was Nnenna. My new pick as winner. Not only is she graceful and poised, but she is gorgeous!! Skin-flawless. Teeth-perfect. Body-banging. Attitude-humble and elegant. She even has a nice accent (she’s from Nigeria). Nnenna has the total package whereas Jade is just pretty and as Mr Jay said last night "A pretty face does not a top model make." One other person who stood out to me was Wendy, not because she’s that great, but because she kinda sucked in her photo and she is a victim of Hurricane Katrina. The judges tried to justify her “sad look” by saying that she is internally sad from having experienced that tragedy…and all I have to say is, GIRL, get over it. You have the opportunity to turn your whole life around, so stop wallowing and at least try to win…..UGH!! otherwise, none of the other girls really had much face time because Jade hogged the screen with her larger-than-life funky attitude and nonstop self-praise. In my opinion, nothing makes a pretty girl uglier quicker than a jacked-up demeanor. Hence the reason why I am gunning for her now (may gina b.k.a ms. woodchuck get drunk again, sleep-walk and chew a hole in your fro while you sleep)….i think you can be even more effective by falling back and exemplifying why you are so great, being a silent but deadly threat. If you have to run your mouth and talk trash all the time, you sound like you are trying to convince yourSELF and you end up turning others off by being so annoying. All Jade needs is a good 'rip-u-a-new-*sshole' cussin' out and she would calm right down...besides, missy-you're not the only one who turns heads-BEYATCH!!!! Yayee-yayee!!!! SASHAY-SHANTE!!!!!! MISS A. MISS A. MISS A....lol

GO TEAM NNENNA!!!! (wouldn't it be nice if she won, a REAL black girl, not a mixed one, or light-skinnded one-nothing against light girls, cuz i'm one kinda, but i just want to see something different besides, light, brights and ugly whites as winners)

below find the shots from Project Bald & Beautiful, Shoot 1


FUronda b.k.a. Aunt Chaunceen-not impressed, make-up was fab, but she looks dull
Gina b.k.a. Ms. Woodchuck-UGH!! those teeth just won't stay in her mouth...she will probably be next voted off, if for no other reason, because she's an idiot. the judges noticed that she is a walking oxymoron, just contradictory and nervous all the time. not to mention, she got drunk at dinner which is always a bad look in public & on tv. no class.
Jade-this pic is very alien-like and that cheekbone juts out so far and so sharply, it looks like she got popped in the face before the shoot. not impressed.
Joanie-she surprised me...this pic is ok, but in in life, she really ordinary. nice eyes
Kari-ok, this girl is killin me!!!! she looks so OFF!! those lips look like a platypus mouth. i know white girls with big soup-coolas are all the rage now, but i don't like hers.
Kathy-CACKLE!! BARF!!! COUGH!!! GAG!!!! sharp-shouldered, big throat granny was the first one sent home-and rightfully so!!!
Leslie-lovely pic, except for that freddy krueger wrinkled hand...it really messes up the pic, it kinda looks like somebody else's hand, but her face is great!!
Mollie Sue-pic is nice. she reminds me of Noelle from Cycle 4
Nnenna-reminiscent of grace jones here, flawless....just flawless
Sara-i don't like her face, it's really big up top and really small at the bottom, kinda like an upside-down triangle
Wendy-b.k.a. Woo-Woo-Woo b.k.a. Whoas Me-don't like this pic at all. get it together!
Danielle-i don't like her. but this pic is beautiful. she looks like a tranny at times, but she rocked this...now if she would just get braces to close up that damn GAP in her teeth!
Brooke-EW! don't like anything about her...she's just a mess. that jawline, that nose, those lips-BLEH!!! tyra kept saying she has a look that the public won't get-YOU AIN'T NEVA LIED!!!!

WHO DO YOU THINK WORKED IT? WHO DO YOU LIKE/DISLIKE? WHO DO YOU WANT TO WIN? WHO DESERVES THE MOST-LIKE-A-MOGWAI AWARD?