From Miss A. to Mrs. A................

UPDATE:::dear bloggies, i have been nominated by my homie shawn for "best humor blog" at the blackweblog awards
RULES: Only one ballot can be submitted per person. You can only enter one website in each field in the nomination form. If you feel a website can qualify for more than one category, feel free to submit it for several categories. However, you can only submit one website for each field. Think of it like a presidential election...except with no hanging chads or faulty Diebold machines.

You must have a valid e-mail address to submit a ballot. Your information will not be used in any other way except for ballot tabulation, but fake and "anti-spam" addresses will not be accepted. Actually, the form will take them, but those ballots will be deleted.

i know i have slacked on my wacky stories, but if you can remember blogs from the day of yore that made you chuckle and feel like voting, that would be great!
thanx peoples!

Blog fam!! I’ve missed you so…..and judging from today’s title, I’m sure you have pieced together the reason behind my recent hiatus – that’s right people, all the while I was gone, I was finishing up my wedding plans and preparing for the big day. Let me provide my disclaimer:
I did not blog about my upcoming nuptials just in case I had a runaway groom on my hands OR if he would get to the altar and change his mind (wink!)
Anyhoos, since he didn’t pull a Houdini on me, I can share a few snippets from that day...but first, some background.

We had planned to have an intimate garden ceremony a la adam & eve. Then the idea came about to throw a little p. diddy in the mix and make it an all white affair-meaning everyone wear white-EVERYONE! I thought that since it would be outside amongst all of the rich foliage and garden colors, it would look crisp, fresh and classic. Enter issue # 1: now I know some people may not have attended affairs with color schemes/requirements before, but you wouldn’t believe some of the confusion that erupted from this request. I found myself having to actually call people 3-4 times just to reinforce what was meant cuz some people still thought all white meant some white with whatever other color I want to wear….so towards the end, my speech was “all white, not white pants with a pink shirt, not blue pants with a white shirt and not a white dress with green flowers….ALL WHITE. The only thing that can be non-white are shoes and accessories.” It seemed very elementary, but folks were really planning on throwing their personal spice into their outfits and ya’ll know I was not having it! i was really frustrated cuz it's summer so white is everywhere and it was gonna be outside, so people just needed to get something comfortable, nothing too extravagant or crazy with sequins and glitter, cuz wasn't nobody looking at the audience anyways :-P but you woulda thunk i asked people to dust off the armani and buy some new gucci....le sigh! Enter issue #2: weather. With outdoor weddings, you always play russian roulette and hope for the best. The Saturday before, there was non-stop rain so I was like-cool! Its highly unlikely that it would rain 2 Saturdays in a row, right? WRONG! The weather reports were saying that it was going to rain Thursday, Friday Saturday and Sunday. YIKES!!! Of course I was on pins and needles because my whole vision would have been flushed down the crapper if it rained. There would be no lush green background to absorb all of the fabulous white outfits. No fresh flowers peeking along the garden, no room for our guests (cuz the backup location was small), and no happy bride cuz a lot of the décor was for outside use only. Then during the week, the weather report changed, saying it would rain thursday, friday, and sunday, but skipping saturday. This made me even more nervous, cuz why was saturday gonna get skipped like that. And I mean-they were predicting serious thunderstorms, so my nerves were a frayed mess until I woke up saturday morning to not only bright sunshine, but 100 degree heat and unbearable humidity. But I did NOT complain, cuz at least it wasn’t raining. But I must digress, cuz there was a travel fiasco. My maid of honor was scheduled to come in Thursday evening at 10:30 pm. But due to the impending thunderstorms (that never happened that night) her flight was cancelled. So here we go…on a wild goose chase to figure out what to do. They were trying to get her on a flight the next day, but that would have been a mess, cuz it was supposed to storm again, so what if they cancelled that flight? Plus, we had too much to do and I needed her there that night. So they put her on another airline which brought her into laguardia, the most god-awful airport known to man, almost 1 ½ hours from me, arriving at the eye-popping hour of 2:00 AM. ya’ll know I was a wreck. Here I am with my mapquest, driving in the dead of night/morn with my other out-of-town bridesmaid fighting that crazy ny traffic. But alas, she got here and we laid our heads to rest around 4 am. The next day was sheer pandemonium….the whole day was spent tying up loose ends, ripping and running, ending the day with rehearsal and dinner. Well, one bridesmaid got stuck in Brooklyn and missed the rehearsal by the skin of her teeth, we got separated on our way to dinner and half the folks got lost and I ended up tired and cranky by the end of the night. But do ya think I rested? Oh no….me and the MOH still had things to do, so we got to sleep sometime around 1:30. ok, so its wedding day and it’s the ball crack of dawn and time for hair-BOO! I am sooooo not a morning person, especially when I didn’t get my normal ten hours of sleep and when it’s one skillion degrees…but oh well. All day was crazy, hair flying everywhere, makeup being thrown around, nails and toes being slung in different directions….but all came together.

Until dun, dun duuuuuuuun, as I was getting ready upstairs, I had a perfect view of guests as they arrived, so ya’ll know I was peeping their outfits. Well, all was well, until what did my eyes witness? PEACH!?!?!?! Through the bushes and o’er the trees and I peeped the faintest hint of peach. So I’m like- who in the fresh hot hell is stepping up in this piece in peach? Who is peach-in-the-bush? Who the freak is peach-in-the-bush!?!?!?! I didn’t even know this chick, which angered me more, so I sent hubby on a mission to remedy the issue cuz I had sista on the first thing smoking away from my wedding ceremony. Another guest ended up having to take her shopping in a strange and unfamiliar town for something all white cuz she was the ONLY one who showed up bucking the system. In all truth, it was her date’s fault (a member of the wedding party-gasp!) for not making sure she was tight, but I didn’t care cuz I meant business about the white. In the end, that day couldn’t have been more perfect……….
the wedding party

me and pops

being all serious (and fabulous)

getting our prayer on

it's official!


me & lil' bro

gettin' our ghetto on!!

smooches!

yummy!!!!!!!!

after night-fall

super cheese face!

thanks guys for being patient with me...............I'm BAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!

OH, and before i forget, DID YA'll CATCH FLAVOR OF LOVE 2 LAST NIGHT WHEN THAT NASTY SKANK "SOMETHIN'" TOOK A POOP ON THE FLOOR (or as she says, it just pushed its way out cuz she couldn't hold it anymore), PICKED IT UP, AND DROPPED SOME ON THE STAIRS ON HER WAY TO THE BATHROOM!?!?! WTF!?!?!?!? WHO DOES THAT? WHO POOPS UNCONTROLLABLY???? AND WHO HAS NO SHAME WHEN THEY DO DROP POOP ALL OVER THE PLACE???? I HAVE NO WORDS....................