It's About To Be a WHAT!?!?! A FISTFIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

ooooh chile, you won't BELIEVE the madness that occurred this weekend!!! let's get right to it....so, saturday, i had a very relaxing day. as night fell, i nestled on into bed and headed off to sleep. well, around 4:09 AM, there arose such a clatter...BOOM, BAM, CA-RASH!!!!! i sat up, looking like WTF!?!?! the cat was just as startled and confused...but i took it back down. well, about 12 seconds later hear comes the boom "GET THE F*CK OUTTA MY HOUSE!" that was pablo from upstairs on the 3rd floor. "AY AY AY, CHI, CHI, CHI, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH" that's margarita...they're at it again. their fights are usually very serious...filled with shouting, screaming, cussing, throwing, pushing, and other domestic noises. well, the shouting goes on for about 30 more minutes and i'm thinking, if i can hear them so clearly, i know adam, olivia and tashi on the second floor have prime front row seats to this blood match. but at this hour, i'm growing very irritated. i contemplate calling my landlord, but that would've been pointless cuz he's an idiot, so i go and record the issue & time on my dry-erase board that is filled with complaints against these two. as i get back into bed....BOOM, POW, ZAM!!!! dang, are they wrestling? should i call the police? really, i wanted to go stand in the hallway and scream "SHUT THE F*CK UP!"

well, about 3 minutes later, heres comes margie, storming down the stairs.."FINE, I'M LEAVING THEN" "YEAH, GET OUT!" "FINE, BYE, BYYYYYYYYYYYYE!!!" all of this noise is taking place in the stairway right by my place...i am FUMING!!! well, they decide to take the argument outside. so there they are, shouting and fighting in the street....now i REALLY want to yell out the window, but if they said something back like "YOU shut the f*ck up"...well, let's just say, there would have been a riot. so i sat there and finally decide to call the police. as soon as i come to this conclusion, i hear up, down, up, down, running and banging up and down the stairs. so i look out of the window again and it's pab, dropping garbage bag after garbage bag of margie's stuff on the sidewalk. there's a policeman standing right by the door, so someone beat me to it. i see two negroes picking the bags up so i thought it was adam and tashi. well, i couldn't see too well out of my closet wondow perched on top of my hamper, so i went into the living room which also had better sound. it wasn't adam and tashi, but two negroes from across the street taking the stuff over there. there was another police officer over at that house and some random watchers just taking it all in. then, the negroes start going at it "where all this stuff gon' go?" "i don't know" "yip, yip yip, yack, yack, yack" WHAT A HOOT!!!! finally, after about the 12th bag, pab stands next to the policeman (right under my window) and chats it up a bit. "yeah, officer, she picked the lock and i was like-who is it and she was like me and i was like-what you want? and she was like-my clothes. and i said get outta here, cuz you ain't gonna be stealing from me and that's how it started." after i got the whodunit, where and why of the situation, i went back to bed.

moral of the story::if you have to fight your partner, kick them all in the street, cuss them like they stole something (or if you DID steal something)...maybe you shouldn't be together. if you have to consistently throw dem bows, and swang dem thangs, then learn when to throw in the towel. some things just aren't worth it. this makes complaint # 42 against these nuts. will it ever end? i'm just glad i survived ths one...let us pray that one day before i move and when they try to really kill each other, the bullet doesn't go through the floor and strike me as i sleep.