Ya'll got it twisted...This Ain't Share-a-Slave!!!!!!
*first, let me say thank you to my blog la familia for riding with me thru all of my adventures! even when i'm buggin out, you guys are still the shizz-nit and will keep it 100!!! thanx guys!!!! with that said, please excuse that ranting post i had last week. as you could read, i had just had my fill of the foolishness and i felt cool blogging about it to ya'll-YAYEE YAYEE!!*
WORD OF THE DAY:: absurd (adj)-contrary to reason
now, as you already know, i work in the slave industry with a ridiculously backwards-*ss slave master. well, as i was toiling away doing my job, massa's brother comes in with him and kicks up his feet like HE runs something around here. see, i work alone pretty much all day. massa is away 85% of the time and when he is here, he goes to his space and i stay in mine on completely opposite ends. we rarely pow-wow & ish...we just do what we're supposed to do-but SEPARATELY. thats how i like it since we don't agree with each other half the time anyways. now, brotha jenkins sits down in MY space and at first, i was cool, but i do NOT like people to get too close to me or stare at me as i work. i think its rude. so i'm becoming agitated cuz i'm like-WHAT!?!?! do you need something!?!?!?!
well, bro says, "yeah, i gave this girl your number and when she calls, tell her that i'm out in the field conducting business, i'll be in and out all day, ask for her info and leave it for me with massa." after i blinked about 58 times, had a sip of water and shook my head as if to clear my ears, i said-"HUH!?!?!?!" he repeated that whole request and i responded with "SAY WHAT!?!?!" so we started the stare-down. he looked at me as if he were shocked, and i looked at him as if he were crazy. this lasted for about 24 seconds. surely he would understand why i felt this request was absurd. then i began my speil-
"no disrepect, bro. jenkins, but (1) do NOT give people my number! (2) do NOT give people my number on some personal ish (3) you don't even WORK HERE. so i don't know where all this-he's-in-the-field-conducting-business crap is coming from! (4) i am not a personal messaging center. (5) i get PAID to do whatever it is i do here. (6) you do not pay me to do anything, therefore you SHANT make any requests of me (7) if your brother doesn't mind you piggy-backing off of this office and our faculties, thats him...but i do not shuck & jive for anyone, not even him (8) i'm not trying to be nasty, but i am at work-not PLAY, not catch-a-girl, get-a-girl, not impress the scamps on the street by fooling with my job, not doing little "favors," or playing on the damn phone-but WORK. any non-work will be decided on by me i do NOT receive compensation to participate in games, jollies, or tom-foolery (9) the fact that you have to make up this cock-a-mamie story already let's me know that you are on some immature, waste of my time ish and i don't endorse that in the workplace and (10) YA'LL HAVE IT TWISTED, HUH!?!?! THIS AIN'T SHARE-A-SLAVE or SLAVES-R-US or RENT/SLAVE!!!! i have ONE massa and i don't cosign his silliness! so your request has been DENIED! please take any queries to the office down the hall on the left and leave me to complete the wonderful cotton-gathering that i do!
needless to say, he mumbled something as he headed down the hall...i'm sure ready to rally for my dismissal-but it will never happen. this place would go straight to hell without me. i know it, massa knows it, his shiftless brother (now) knows it and NOW, i gotta make this random chick who doesn't know me but who's gonna call me aware of the fact that MISS A. DON'T PLAY!!!!!!
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*UPDATE* thanks to OLAWUNMI, i have been tagged :-P
Rules:If I tag you, you have to do the following:1. The tagged victim must come up with 10 different points of their perfect lover.2. Need to mention gender of target.3. Tag 8 victims to join this game and leave a comment saying they've been tagged.4. If tagged again, there's no need to post a 2nd time.
ok, so my victim, or shall i say target is male. and the 10 points of my perfect lover would be as follows (in no particular order):
1. understanding-you should always consider the other person's perspective
2. honest/trusting-HONEST, not just in the sense of lying, but about being forthright about their thoughts and how they feel about a situation when its relevant and TRUSTING, not just in each other but in our relationship
3. intelligent-i don't want anyone thats dumb as a box of rocks-what would we talk about?
4. ambitious-i cannot drag someone along with what i have in mind...have something going for yourself
5. thoughtful-PLEASE take a few moments to really mull over some things. do not do things in haste or impulsively, but take some TIME to let things marinate and act accordingly
6. caring-i need to know that i matter, along with the things that matter to me. show it, give effort, come outside of your box and join me in loving embraces, sweet moments, and times that only would mean something to us
7. respectful-i believe in gender roles and i DEMAND the same amount of respect i am willing to give, no matter what the situation
8. at LEAST on my level (but preferrably better off)-puh-lease, no mcdonalds frie makers, no bus-riders, no cardboard box dwellers, no baby-mama drama.....please have an education and some goals
9. unconditional/non-judgmental-someone who realizes that anything worth having is worth fighting for, so bouncing when the road gets rough is not cool in my book. i know i am and will forever be a work-in-progress, but i need support and to know that even though i have some stuff going on, you love me through it all and KNOW that i only extend the same courtesy to you
10. GOD-fearing....to denounce/ignore/downplay the presence of GOD and the blessings he bestows upon us every day is of maximum ignorance and the household cannot be on one accord if we are unequally yoked
I'm tagging:
JAMEIL
THE "L"
SHENEHNEH
SHAWN
SOULFULL
STEPHEN
YAZ
NICHELLE
WORD OF THE DAY:: absurd (adj)-contrary to reason
now, as you already know, i work in the slave industry with a ridiculously backwards-*ss slave master. well, as i was toiling away doing my job, massa's brother comes in with him and kicks up his feet like HE runs something around here. see, i work alone pretty much all day. massa is away 85% of the time and when he is here, he goes to his space and i stay in mine on completely opposite ends. we rarely pow-wow & ish...we just do what we're supposed to do-but SEPARATELY. thats how i like it since we don't agree with each other half the time anyways. now, brotha jenkins sits down in MY space and at first, i was cool, but i do NOT like people to get too close to me or stare at me as i work. i think its rude. so i'm becoming agitated cuz i'm like-WHAT!?!?! do you need something!?!?!?!
well, bro says, "yeah, i gave this girl your number and when she calls, tell her that i'm out in the field conducting business, i'll be in and out all day, ask for her info and leave it for me with massa." after i blinked about 58 times, had a sip of water and shook my head as if to clear my ears, i said-"HUH!?!?!?!" he repeated that whole request and i responded with "SAY WHAT!?!?!" so we started the stare-down. he looked at me as if he were shocked, and i looked at him as if he were crazy. this lasted for about 24 seconds. surely he would understand why i felt this request was absurd. then i began my speil-
"no disrepect, bro. jenkins, but (1) do NOT give people my number! (2) do NOT give people my number on some personal ish (3) you don't even WORK HERE. so i don't know where all this-he's-in-the-field-conducting-business crap is coming from! (4) i am not a personal messaging center. (5) i get PAID to do whatever it is i do here. (6) you do not pay me to do anything, therefore you SHANT make any requests of me (7) if your brother doesn't mind you piggy-backing off of this office and our faculties, thats him...but i do not shuck & jive for anyone, not even him (8) i'm not trying to be nasty, but i am at work-not PLAY, not catch-a-girl, get-a-girl, not impress the scamps on the street by fooling with my job, not doing little "favors," or playing on the damn phone-but WORK. any non-work will be decided on by me i do NOT receive compensation to participate in games, jollies, or tom-foolery (9) the fact that you have to make up this cock-a-mamie story already let's me know that you are on some immature, waste of my time ish and i don't endorse that in the workplace and (10) YA'LL HAVE IT TWISTED, HUH!?!?! THIS AIN'T SHARE-A-SLAVE or SLAVES-R-US or RENT/SLAVE!!!! i have ONE massa and i don't cosign his silliness! so your request has been DENIED! please take any queries to the office down the hall on the left and leave me to complete the wonderful cotton-gathering that i do!
needless to say, he mumbled something as he headed down the hall...i'm sure ready to rally for my dismissal-but it will never happen. this place would go straight to hell without me. i know it, massa knows it, his shiftless brother (now) knows it and NOW, i gotta make this random chick who doesn't know me but who's gonna call me aware of the fact that MISS A. DON'T PLAY!!!!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
*UPDATE* thanks to OLAWUNMI, i have been tagged :-P
Rules:If I tag you, you have to do the following:1. The tagged victim must come up with 10 different points of their perfect lover.2. Need to mention gender of target.3. Tag 8 victims to join this game and leave a comment saying they've been tagged.4. If tagged again, there's no need to post a 2nd time.
ok, so my victim, or shall i say target is male. and the 10 points of my perfect lover would be as follows (in no particular order):
1. understanding-you should always consider the other person's perspective
2. honest/trusting-HONEST, not just in the sense of lying, but about being forthright about their thoughts and how they feel about a situation when its relevant and TRUSTING, not just in each other but in our relationship
3. intelligent-i don't want anyone thats dumb as a box of rocks-what would we talk about?
4. ambitious-i cannot drag someone along with what i have in mind...have something going for yourself
5. thoughtful-PLEASE take a few moments to really mull over some things. do not do things in haste or impulsively, but take some TIME to let things marinate and act accordingly
6. caring-i need to know that i matter, along with the things that matter to me. show it, give effort, come outside of your box and join me in loving embraces, sweet moments, and times that only would mean something to us
7. respectful-i believe in gender roles and i DEMAND the same amount of respect i am willing to give, no matter what the situation
8. at LEAST on my level (but preferrably better off)-puh-lease, no mcdonalds frie makers, no bus-riders, no cardboard box dwellers, no baby-mama drama.....please have an education and some goals
9. unconditional/non-judgmental-someone who realizes that anything worth having is worth fighting for, so bouncing when the road gets rough is not cool in my book. i know i am and will forever be a work-in-progress, but i need support and to know that even though i have some stuff going on, you love me through it all and KNOW that i only extend the same courtesy to you
10. GOD-fearing....to denounce/ignore/downplay the presence of GOD and the blessings he bestows upon us every day is of maximum ignorance and the household cannot be on one accord if we are unequally yoked
I'm tagging:
JAMEIL
THE "L"
SHENEHNEH
SHAWN
SOULFULL
STEPHEN
YAZ
NICHELLE
posted by Mrs A. at 9:26 AM
14 Comments:
ROFLMAO! Why hasn't massa ever told his brotha about the slave down the hall? He should have given his brother fair warning long time ago!
HAHAHAHAHA!! LOST. he lost. he for real lost his mind. he obviously didn't know. and l is right. clearly the bro should have given him the lo lo. how'd he even get that number. wilin. just wilin!! but that ish was hilarious!! so i'm going to condone it if i can get some more good stories like that one!
oh yeah!! and i don't play tag!! lolol
I was at a lost for word...and that was before I got to Shawndrika Hussein!
I swear you have the most interesting work environment! I WISH I could say stuff like that and still have a job! LOL
Miss A-
You're funny! So, the stare down worked. :)
So, I've been tagged? :)I've never been tagged before. Let me see what I can come up with?
that is toooooo funny....Share-a-slave *snickers* I needed that laugh....
hahahahaha! THAT was hysterical! I know they talk about you like a dog. You need a camera on you at all times. We need visuals.
hell we need audio..
@ the L-i really dont think he even knew he was gonna say that, cuz he already KNOWS how i am..but i still had fun informing him
@ jameil-its my office #, so he already knew it, but still, his bro has one! and YES YOU DO-TAG!
@ ladynay-LOL @ shawndrika!!!!! that was funny...and god bless the hook-up!
@ shenehneh-hmmm...foot in ass-CHECK!!!!!
@ stephen-chile, my eyes can be lethal..but i couldnt resist running my damn mouth...lol
@ mz. na-GOOD!!!! get yo laugh on, girl!!
@ shawn-you ain't lyin!!!! if i had a dollar for all the stuff folks say about me.......WHOO-HOO!!!!!! its like LOVE/HATE..they love to hate me!
@ spchrist-hmmmm, i wonder how i could do that. (im not kidding)
MsA U and insanely are crazy--I already did this one....pretty much the same answers as yours...lmao
just the normal stuff...I know thats not really what u looking for with my answers...lmao
I almost didn't get my present job because I asked exactly what my responsibilities were and told them that I wouldn't do other peoples work. I don't mind helping but they better return the favor. If someone asked me to do what he asked you to, I would tell him to kiss my butt.
nah boo i don't do tags no mo! i hate them. they drive me crazy. they're all the same. i've only done 3 of them tops and the last one i said, no more!! plus everything you have is great. i might have taken one or two out or added sense of humor. that is key. i'm a mite crazy so i need someone who can hang w/that. and i would've put trust at the top. the bf passes w/flying colors.
@ nehneh-i peeped your list...you's a nut!
@ yaz, sorry for the re-tag (oops!)
@ nichelle-HURRY UP!!! sike, "what am i gonna do, spank you?"-quote from nnenna on ANTM...LOL ok, i'm officially a goofball today, take ya time, chick-holla when you're done :-D
@ awe-the kicker is that fool doesn't even work here! there are 2 offices here and 2 workers-he needs to do his 'rithmetic!
@ jameil-ok, thanks for ruining the fun in my FIRST tag! BOO to you :-P and anyhoos, my disclaimer said that mine are in no particular order. meilly, you gon make me whoop you!!!
lol...girl I feel ya!
Word to the wise..NEVER listen to Dead Prez before going to work. I did that one day and almost got fired.
Before going to the Plantation I usually like to do a few sun salutations and deep breathing exercises. This usually gets me ready for a nice long day of picking cotton.
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