BHM, Trench Coat Mafia and Church Shoes are NOT the Move!!!!

so, i went to the club last night so i could get my dance on, which i haven't done in a long, long time. i was struggling because i had fallen asleep at home and once me and starr hit the bed, it's usually over. but i forced myself into the dead of night, blistering winds and took a few energy shots before i headed to the spot. now, as i said, i was struggling and fighting against the sleep that was overwhelming me, but i figured that when i got there, i would be inspired by the music and/or dance crowd to shake it off. instead i witnessed Mother Africa and the Continental Congo Clappers*, a member of the Trench Coat Mafia and someone's uncle that allegedly came straight from Bible Study to the club. (* this was not their name, i just felt like it should have been)

let me break it down

(a) Mother Africa and the CCC were performing (no doubt for Black History Month) some type of jazz infused ceremonial procession. it was TERRIBLE. first off, it was too late for that. people came to dance and the band was hogging the floor howling to the high heavens about good black folk, freedom and incense, and who knows what else while everyone sat/stood with stone faces and drunken stupors just praying for the demise of this performance. my buzz was wearing off and sleep was kicking my behind all over the place. nonetheless 45 minutes later, they began to clear the floor (which took an additional 30 minutes) and made way for the Drunk Hoochie Hump Show that i noticed was boiling over by the bar....YAY!!!!

(b) as i two-stepped in the corner i noticed this dude who looked very odd. not because of the off beat river dance he seemed to be doing. not because of the way he seemed to have wild energy bursts then all of the sudden become completely still...but because of the floor length black trench coat he was flailing around, no doubt wacking a few people in the butt and face when he "felt the spirit"
....ummm, just for future reference-Trench Coats are not appropriate club attire OR outerwear when on the way to the club. i mean, wear it (if you must), but please take it off once you have entered the facility and make a bee-line to coat check because it looks very, shall i say, deranged and killer-ish. not to mention, it can be interpreted as a weapon if you are flinging it around while you are doing your leg stretches and high kicks...someone's cornea could be sliced for cryin' out loud!!

and finally (c) the music began to get really good and i made the mistake of looking to the right and my eyes beheld the vision of Brother Cornelius of the deacon board slipping and sliding across the floor in his (very well-broken in) church shoes. now, as he proceeded to do the "george jefferson" shuffle and even the holy ghost dance, i noticed he was really getting into it, hence drawing a crowd. so as we, the observers began to whisper amongst ourselves, a family member of Bro. ended up next to me and i overheard a comment he made to another (presumed) family member. so i asked "you're related to him?" and he said yes, we just left my mom's funeral...that's why he's dressed like that. (1) why do you leave a funeral and go straight to the club? (2) i know he realized people were wondering what was up, but why did he volunteer all of that info? that seemed a little personal and inappropriate to share with random club-goers. and finally (3) why were those church shoes so curled at the toe?





damn i need a pocket size night vision camera!