Are u a Minion!??! I Think I Want One...(i wonder if there will be a sale)

ok, so i decided that i want a minion. i think it would be sooooooo cute to have one to follow me everywhere i go, even if i'm with my man, dress it how i want, and just boss it all around. it would serve as entertainment and i could release some of my stress by screaming at it...perhaps mine will have to be proficient in cooking and car-washing, laundry, photographing me at random moments, singing on demand, modeling my prospective outfits for the day, driving, licking my boots, mopping, building things out of oak, being my footstool when my legs are sore and i need to keep them elevated, picking fresh flowers, dancing jigs, ironing $1 bills, carrying my coattails, reenacting scenes from ROOTS and playing the french horn. then i would upgrade to having 2 of them and when i went out with my man....we'd look kinda like this -

"LOOK TO THE RIGHT, BEYATCHES AND

YOUR LEGS BETTER BE LEFT OVER RIGHT.

CLASP THOSE HANDS!!

DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE !!

MINION #1, HELP MINION #2-YOU KNOW SHE GETS EASILY CONFUSED!!!!""" (thinking: DAYUM!!! i wish i had got them on sale...i'll have to trade them in soon, or maybe just dump them altogether....but not before i drag them all over the place like vacation with my man, dinner with my man, and more games with my man. hmmmm...man, men, men minions-damn i'm the shizz!)